Year One: Trials and Tribulations

Today is August 22, 2011. Been here in Italy for exactly a year today. Well, nothing much has changed and i'm still undergoing certain pressures from various circumstances. So, to simplify what i said, it's still a life struggle here. What have i done for the past year?

Hmmm... Nothing much...

This year that passed is one of my most underachieving years in my life, in terms of securing a bright future and financial stability. I'm not raising my expectations too much for myself or else, i'll be disappointed in the end. It's just that, i've accomplished little things (i don't even know the extent of the things i've accomplished). So, up to now, i'm on a personal struggle for survival in life. I'm not scrutinizing myself in any sort, but, as an observer, that's what happened in my life for just a year. It feels like i'm almost beaten into a pulp. No one to count on to but myself. Over the course of the year that passed, my future looked so gloomy and very uncertain.

Even though i'm burdened with adversities right now, i can still find calmness in times like these. My perseverance grews even more stronger with the help of God, my family, my friends and my special someone. They are my life's inspirations. With them, i'm pushing myself not to succumb to misfortunes in life. It's part of growing up. We all know that. Good thing, the power of prayer never fails. It's my daily (and the best) source of energy, strength and courage to move on and challenge life. Prayer.

So Year One had it's time. Now, it's time to start counting for Year Two, starting today.

God bless, everyone..

Future hanging in the balance

I've been in different circumstances before. This current situation i have is no different from others. Facing life outside my homeland without my loved ones around me made it more difficult to move on with life, but it made me more defiant than ever before. Troubles, struggles, and problems were just my normal companions, so it's just natural for me to be hardened with the help of the environment i'm living with. I had my ups and downs, despite that, i'm still standing tall and proud. I just can't help ponder my future, where it's currently hanging in the balance, hanging by a thread.

I'm not thinking of it so much, however, i just can't stay away from being nullified. Yeah, i may only be 25 years old, but as time flies, so for opportunities too. I'm not being pessimistic, i just set my expectations for myself too high. So, whenever i wasn't able to obtain what i want, i feel terribly bad for myself. So much for having high expectations.

But on the bright side, as what i have said earlier, it made me hardened as a person - meaning, it tested my strongest attributes to it's limits: patience, perseverance, faith and sacrifice. Those virtues i talked about are the ones that's keeping my feet on the ground. Uncertainty is just the problem i'm focusing on right now, 'cause it may take forever to find answers to make it "certain".

For now, i just want to enjoy life. Hanging in the balance? Nah, it'll find it's own course one day (i mean, my own life course..). As much for being tired thinking too much, i have one solution that i know would be the best answer for all those mishaps...

... I'll go eat my heart out! Hehe..

OH MY!

Caption: "When you think you know what you're doing, you think wrong.."

Fantasizing about UltraMan and MagmaMan

"Yo' the man!"

I was down in front of the computer again to do my usual routines and eating my brunch at the same time (yeah, i didn't make time again for breakfast. Big deal) while surfing some videos from Youtube when i stumbled upon the videos of my favorite TV shows when i was a kid, Ultraman and Magmaman. I can't help but to feel nostalgic once again, reminiscing my happy-go-lucky days of childhood. I think i was in Grade one or in Grade two when i first saw the TV series, back when YouTube is just in it's creator's mind. And the first time i watched it, there's also a brewing typhoon that time (so, i'm guessing i watched it on 1991 or 1994, not so sure about that anymore..)

I consider Ultraman and Magmaman as one my childhood heroes. I never failed to watch a single episode of each of the shows, although to ask me now if i can name a single, significant episode is a bit unfair 'cause it's more than a decade ago since the last time i saw it on TV. I remember watching it on ABS-CBN before their current affairs show, "Hoy, Gising!". Then after i watched it, i'm trying to imitate them both. I'm making my own miniature buildings and environment to trash and destroy afterwards. I even use an ordinary ballpen and imagine it as those power-up thingys i used to see when they're transforming into their respective costumed-heroes. I dig Ultraman's outfit than Magmamans', although i like reckon the bloated eyes of Magmaman, like he was left in the water for days.

Lately, i haven't seen any show like these that came out (well, there was, but it's also the Ultraman franchise) that captured the kids' attention. We had so much cartoons today, but not as appealing as the ones who were produced in the 90's. Maybe, demographically speaking, the tempo just changed because of the viewer's demands.

The Eye-bloated super hero.

Even though times have changed and decades passed, it's still one of the things i would love to see all over again. But then i wonder: Aren't they gonna be Hollywood films one day?

Well, my argument seems to be too hollow and featherbrained, i can't help wonder why after all these years (and more than a decade, too), that it has yet to be immortalized on the big screen. As one of the avid fans of this show, i'm absolutely fantasizing about seeing them on the silver screen. But despite my enthusiasm, there may be other conflicting reasons why it has yet to grace the hollywood (reasons that i don't know). After all, Ultraman and Magmaman originally debuted in 1966 and 1973, respectively, so no one (maybe) in this current generation knows who the heck are they. But anyways, maybe one day it can be fulfilled, and i'll be the first ones to line up in the cinemas to watch it --- if, it ever happens.

So, as long as it yet to happen, it'll just stay as a fantasy.

To Hold on or To Let go?

(NOTE: This can be considered, somehow, as a continuation of my previous blog. Enjoy.)

"To hold on or to let go?"

Might be a simple question, but bears a reality-biting statement.

A question that got stuck in my head while i was talking to a friend of mine whose having troubles with her current boyfriend. To tell you the truth, i'm getting confused on their current state right now. I've given every advice tidbits that i can manage to squeeze in this hollow mind of mine. To give you a picture on their status, here it goes:

For the past 2 or 3 years now, they're a on/off, on/off relationship status. Very unstable. Neither one of them would even consider conceding to one another whenever someone commited a mistake, on purpose or not. Even the smallest of things can turn into a terrible argument that sometimes led them into physical confrontation (which i strongly condemn). My friend insists that they had happy memories, which is, needless to say, (MAYBE) the only thing she's holding on to. Then, she said, after all the things that happened to them, she still loves him. But, on the flip side, she wants to lose the grip on the special attachment she's having for that guy, 'cause, in a way, she's tired already..

So, for me, who's giving an advice, made it more mind-boggling than ever before.

I was about to eat my lunch when i suddenly felt i need to write this down first before it completely evaporates from my memory tank. There are other kinds of relationships that can be far worse than what my friend is currently undergoing right now, but, this one made me ask myself first: "If i was in her shoes, what should i do?"

I've given her advices that could uplift her spirits, 'cause she's not in a very good condition right now: she said she's much more stressed than ever before, doesn't eat well, can't have a good sleep at nights. She's actually thinking too much, with the pressures of looking for a new job to occupy her and keep her busy. To make it short, she's not in a very good shape right now. Then, there's this arguments that they're having for quite a while now, may it be a small one or big. She said the guy had his fair share of mistakes and bad decisions, at the same time, she admitted to be like that, too. But she's so adamant in her refusal to say sorry, maybe the guy's the same too.. So i can only think of one problem.

The main culprit: PRIDE.

Problems will never, ever be worked out when a couple keeps on defying each other's intrepid arrogance. Pride never solves problem and it can only make matters worse. A relationship can be kept healthy for this two things: you both TRUST and UNDERSTAND each other. It may not be the best component a relationship needs, but it's one of the most vital and important. Fighting is normal in a relationship, and sometimes, although not necessary, it's one of the main reasons that can keep couples going and produce a healthier, fruitful accord. Of course, you need to mix it with patience, faithfulness and unconditional love. That, is the most important of them all: Unconditional Love. I felt sad for her when she mentioned that they had arguments that turned into physical altercations. I think they both have no right to hit one another, most especially for the guys out ther (including me). Women are born to be loved, not to be hurt. That goes the same for women; men are to be loved, too. Equality. No special strings attached.

She's been asking me what to do, and i've given her (i think) the most appropriate advices a friend could give. I don't want to give advices and a false impression that may look like i'm "intervening" with their affairs, so i'm doing my best to be fair all the time. Although she's my friend, i'm not picking sides. I'm praying that they both learn how to forgive. It's just that, it's hard to convince one of them to relinquish their hold on their pride. She's in dissaray now, because she's not sure if she still has to hold on to a dysfunctional relationship, so i'm trying to keep her optimistic and keeping her spirits high at all times. She's just the one who's being the opposite. Despite that, i know that she's doing her best to look on the bright side of things in life. It's not easy for other people (including her), but it's something not impossible to obtain one day.

To my friend, always pray. Don't worry, i'm praying for you, too..

Well if you have other suggestion/comments, feel free to leave one.

God bless.

Love Adviser (or Advicer or Advisor or...)

The heck with that!

I don't even know what word to use in my blog title. That just shows my gaping holes in writing. But anyways, as long as you all get what i mean, that's all that matters.

I, suddenly became an adviser about love. Well, i don't think i'm that good at giving advices, but somehow, i can see that my words of encouragement work for those broken-hearted people. I'm not sure how it works for them, but i know it worked for me before. But to tell you the truth, i thought it was easy at first to give random advices for everyone. I thought wrong. Sometimes, i can't find the words to deliver. My mind dries up from time to time. Although, it doesn't get me into any trouble, my willingness to help others and give advices is stressful enough for me when i can't speak my mind well. I find great satisfaction when i can see (or feel) someone that i've helped them for just using words of comfort.

As i zip thru my cup of coffee while typing these words that has nothing to do with my topic (i mean, this sentence), i try to recall those times that i transformed into Mr. Cupid. Well, as i've said earlier, there were numerous instances that i'm overflowing with good advices, but there are times ,too, that when i overgeneralize, i tend to go thru drought phase. So, to conclude, advicing never was (and never will be) an easy task. I'm trying my best to marginalize my capacity, but i think it still needs a lot of improvement from now on. (And i almost spill the coffee on the laptop --- ALMOST..)

Even though i'm not sure all the words i speak for advices works, the fact that i can make someone comfortable and be optimistic are satisfying enough for me. So, i guess, it'll be always like that from now on.

Have a pleasant day, everyone. Godspeed.

Worrisome

Okay, it's one of those days where your jaws hang up 'cause you don't have anything to keep you busy. And on a monday? Darn it. Mix it with dreadful weather? That pretty explains my day's start.

I've been a housekeeper for a week now, 'cause a friend asked me if i can keep their house safe while they're at work. Someone's fixing the toilet that's supposed to be done by Tuesday of last week. But because of ther hang-ups and tardiness, it took another week and here we are, on a monday, waiting for no one to come (UPDATE: Eventually, no one came). The only thing they need to do is to reinstall the sink to it's rightful place --- and that's it. But suddenly, they're a no-show today, without even reminding us that they're not coming. So, from 7 in the morning (Milan time) up to quarter to 5 in the afternoon (right now.. and still counting..), i've been sitting my a** around with only this laptop as my companion for the day that passed. So, i'm guessing that they're not coming anytime today and i have to be back tomorrow (it's not that i don't like to go back, but, they're milking their way to earn easy money --- without the owner's idea what're they doing and where the heck they are right now. It's just plain terrible.

And then there's the weather. You mix it from the classlessness of those hourly-paid workers to this gloomy, dreadful weather (since monday last week, as well): an AMAZING MONDAY i had (sarcasm).

Great. That's just great.. (sarcasm part 2)

But anyways, i'm expecting them to finish what they're supposed to finish today, and i'm hoping for a better climate tomorrow. I thought that summer season's approaching? Oh well, no use complaining at all.

Still, have a pleasant week to everyone. (For me, too..)

Godspeed.