To Hold on or To Let go?

(NOTE: This can be considered, somehow, as a continuation of my previous blog. Enjoy.)

"To hold on or to let go?"

Might be a simple question, but bears a reality-biting statement.

A question that got stuck in my head while i was talking to a friend of mine whose having troubles with her current boyfriend. To tell you the truth, i'm getting confused on their current state right now. I've given every advice tidbits that i can manage to squeeze in this hollow mind of mine. To give you a picture on their status, here it goes:

For the past 2 or 3 years now, they're a on/off, on/off relationship status. Very unstable. Neither one of them would even consider conceding to one another whenever someone commited a mistake, on purpose or not. Even the smallest of things can turn into a terrible argument that sometimes led them into physical confrontation (which i strongly condemn). My friend insists that they had happy memories, which is, needless to say, (MAYBE) the only thing she's holding on to. Then, she said, after all the things that happened to them, she still loves him. But, on the flip side, she wants to lose the grip on the special attachment she's having for that guy, 'cause, in a way, she's tired already..

So, for me, who's giving an advice, made it more mind-boggling than ever before.

I was about to eat my lunch when i suddenly felt i need to write this down first before it completely evaporates from my memory tank. There are other kinds of relationships that can be far worse than what my friend is currently undergoing right now, but, this one made me ask myself first: "If i was in her shoes, what should i do?"

I've given her advices that could uplift her spirits, 'cause she's not in a very good condition right now: she said she's much more stressed than ever before, doesn't eat well, can't have a good sleep at nights. She's actually thinking too much, with the pressures of looking for a new job to occupy her and keep her busy. To make it short, she's not in a very good shape right now. Then, there's this arguments that they're having for quite a while now, may it be a small one or big. She said the guy had his fair share of mistakes and bad decisions, at the same time, she admitted to be like that, too. But she's so adamant in her refusal to say sorry, maybe the guy's the same too.. So i can only think of one problem.

The main culprit: PRIDE.

Problems will never, ever be worked out when a couple keeps on defying each other's intrepid arrogance. Pride never solves problem and it can only make matters worse. A relationship can be kept healthy for this two things: you both TRUST and UNDERSTAND each other. It may not be the best component a relationship needs, but it's one of the most vital and important. Fighting is normal in a relationship, and sometimes, although not necessary, it's one of the main reasons that can keep couples going and produce a healthier, fruitful accord. Of course, you need to mix it with patience, faithfulness and unconditional love. That, is the most important of them all: Unconditional Love. I felt sad for her when she mentioned that they had arguments that turned into physical altercations. I think they both have no right to hit one another, most especially for the guys out ther (including me). Women are born to be loved, not to be hurt. That goes the same for women; men are to be loved, too. Equality. No special strings attached.

She's been asking me what to do, and i've given her (i think) the most appropriate advices a friend could give. I don't want to give advices and a false impression that may look like i'm "intervening" with their affairs, so i'm doing my best to be fair all the time. Although she's my friend, i'm not picking sides. I'm praying that they both learn how to forgive. It's just that, it's hard to convince one of them to relinquish their hold on their pride. She's in dissaray now, because she's not sure if she still has to hold on to a dysfunctional relationship, so i'm trying to keep her optimistic and keeping her spirits high at all times. She's just the one who's being the opposite. Despite that, i know that she's doing her best to look on the bright side of things in life. It's not easy for other people (including her), but it's something not impossible to obtain one day.

To my friend, always pray. Don't worry, i'm praying for you, too..

Well if you have other suggestion/comments, feel free to leave one.

God bless.

Love Adviser (or Advicer or Advisor or...)

The heck with that!

I don't even know what word to use in my blog title. That just shows my gaping holes in writing. But anyways, as long as you all get what i mean, that's all that matters.

I, suddenly became an adviser about love. Well, i don't think i'm that good at giving advices, but somehow, i can see that my words of encouragement work for those broken-hearted people. I'm not sure how it works for them, but i know it worked for me before. But to tell you the truth, i thought it was easy at first to give random advices for everyone. I thought wrong. Sometimes, i can't find the words to deliver. My mind dries up from time to time. Although, it doesn't get me into any trouble, my willingness to help others and give advices is stressful enough for me when i can't speak my mind well. I find great satisfaction when i can see (or feel) someone that i've helped them for just using words of comfort.

As i zip thru my cup of coffee while typing these words that has nothing to do with my topic (i mean, this sentence), i try to recall those times that i transformed into Mr. Cupid. Well, as i've said earlier, there were numerous instances that i'm overflowing with good advices, but there are times ,too, that when i overgeneralize, i tend to go thru drought phase. So, to conclude, advicing never was (and never will be) an easy task. I'm trying my best to marginalize my capacity, but i think it still needs a lot of improvement from now on. (And i almost spill the coffee on the laptop --- ALMOST..)

Even though i'm not sure all the words i speak for advices works, the fact that i can make someone comfortable and be optimistic are satisfying enough for me. So, i guess, it'll be always like that from now on.

Have a pleasant day, everyone. Godspeed.

A Love that never was

Just a week ago, i have to move out (AGAIN) from my previous place because of bed bug terrorism. I still have those bite marks that left me irritated. For a month of stay over there, i never had a good sleep (even though i woke up most of the time at 11 am), 'cause i've always been bothered with just a slight itch, so it was like i have to stay awake all night to wait and catch those bed bugs. Fortunately, the new place i moved into was such a nice place. I even have a bed that can fit three people. So, i was rolling around that bed. AND, i finally had a good, peaceful and bed-bug-free sleep.

(I have another brewing problem over that new place, but i won't say it here now. Maybe, next time.)

One good sign that definitely can say that i had a good sleep is having a good dream. Well, this dream is not just a dream: it's something played a significant role with my life. She was someone that i first talked through the telephone. Introduced by a good friend of mine from grade school. She's the same age as mine (i guess), a mix breed of Mexican, American and Filipina. I can still clearly recall her name.

Michaela Morgan.

It was during 2002, my first year in college. I received a random phone call from someone almost late in the evening. When i picked-up the phone, her voice was enveloped with calmness. I asked her how she was able to get my home phone number, she mentioned my grade school buddy. She came from a good, wealthy family who lives in Valle Verde Subdivision in Pasig. Well, me, i came from a working middle-class family who lives in the outskirts of Manila. I was so young back then, so i have this insecurity-feeling that she won't like me at all. But she was everything i had expected. Sincere, thoughtful, god-fearing person. We talked night after night, got mutually attached to one another (well, that's how i feel). And, the rest was history.

I wrote about her because, for two straight nights, i've dreamt of her. I don't know why but suddenly i felt the need to share this story. Well, the last time i've talked to her is way back 2004, and the last thing i've heard about her is that she moved to the United States. We lost all the communication and haven't kept in touch to one another, so, i don't have any news about her. I even tried looking for her thru Facebook, but, heck! There's a lot of Michaela Morgan's around the world. If only i was brave enough back then, but i wasn't. I wasn't able to tell her that i love her. My reason was --- because of our family classifications. As what i have said, They're a wealthy family and we're a middle-class family. I know it's a dumb and stupid reason for me to have, but back then, it makes sense to me. But now, obviously, it doesn't make sense at all. It was almost a decade ago now, so, now, suddenly i wonder how and where she is now.

There's a lot of "What if's" running through my mind right now. What if i told her? What could've been? Now, i know i can't provide the answers to my own questions 'cause i took a different path of life. I just suddenly felt sad that i didn't had the guts and strength to voice out my true feelings. But, of course, my action served a lot of lessons, so i know now that i'm a much better person.

I did not write this 'cause i regret not doing the right things (well, somehow, i am, hehe.. but not to it's full extent), but to remind other people that when you have the chance to say something towards a person that you love, seize the moment. No screw-ups, no shortcuts, just make a plain and simple statement. Learn in from me, who had all the chance to say it, but chose to hold back. It's a Love that never was.

Love is...

"The most important thing about life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in."

Today is the time of the year where love is in the air. Lovers flock the city to celebrate this very special day. It has been the day that love peaks at it's highest point and somewhat a day of "surprises" for lovebirds. I don't know what i really mean by "surprises", but a lot of sweet things can go around the metro to spread the word Love.

How do you define Love? Is it expressed by giving the sweetest chocolates and the freshest flowers you can pick? It is shown by preparing an exquisite set-up date? Or is it more felt by just showing your emotions with all sincerity and respect for your loved one? I don't know what Love can mean for others, but we have own ways in showing and expressing the real meaning of true love.

It wouldn't be fair to say that Valentine's Day is just a day for couples. Single people are welcome, too. It doesn't necessarily mean you have to have a special someone. Love is for everyone. Love takes no boundaries. No special attachments. Just pure, unadulterated love.

I'm actually out of words on what to write about Love. I don't have all the words to explain what Love is. I'm not the brightest or the most compelling person in the world. But, i can express Love without a doubt and with all sincerity. A simple poem or a handwritten letter might be enough to show the sweetest thing on earth. Even a plain text message can bring smiles to your loved ones. In an Age like this, there's so many ways we can show love to one another --- it's just a matter of doing it the right way, being true to yourself, and without selfish desires. Love mustn't have any strings attached. Again, just pure, unadulterated love.

In this time of the year, i don't have any special someone whom i can share this very special day (long story, hehe..) But it doesn't mean i forgot how to celebrate Valentine's Day on my own. I have my family, my friends, and God --- and that's all that matters. I'm celebrating it my way, and for me, that's special enough.

To all the people around the world, let this day of hearts flow with overwhelming love -- and not just today, as we spread love to each and one another, today, tomorrow and forever.

Happy Valentine's Day.

God bless..