To Hold on or To Let go?

(NOTE: This can be considered, somehow, as a continuation of my previous blog. Enjoy.)

"To hold on or to let go?"

Might be a simple question, but bears a reality-biting statement.

A question that got stuck in my head while i was talking to a friend of mine whose having troubles with her current boyfriend. To tell you the truth, i'm getting confused on their current state right now. I've given every advice tidbits that i can manage to squeeze in this hollow mind of mine. To give you a picture on their status, here it goes:

For the past 2 or 3 years now, they're a on/off, on/off relationship status. Very unstable. Neither one of them would even consider conceding to one another whenever someone commited a mistake, on purpose or not. Even the smallest of things can turn into a terrible argument that sometimes led them into physical confrontation (which i strongly condemn). My friend insists that they had happy memories, which is, needless to say, (MAYBE) the only thing she's holding on to. Then, she said, after all the things that happened to them, she still loves him. But, on the flip side, she wants to lose the grip on the special attachment she's having for that guy, 'cause, in a way, she's tired already..

So, for me, who's giving an advice, made it more mind-boggling than ever before.

I was about to eat my lunch when i suddenly felt i need to write this down first before it completely evaporates from my memory tank. There are other kinds of relationships that can be far worse than what my friend is currently undergoing right now, but, this one made me ask myself first: "If i was in her shoes, what should i do?"

I've given her advices that could uplift her spirits, 'cause she's not in a very good condition right now: she said she's much more stressed than ever before, doesn't eat well, can't have a good sleep at nights. She's actually thinking too much, with the pressures of looking for a new job to occupy her and keep her busy. To make it short, she's not in a very good shape right now. Then, there's this arguments that they're having for quite a while now, may it be a small one or big. She said the guy had his fair share of mistakes and bad decisions, at the same time, she admitted to be like that, too. But she's so adamant in her refusal to say sorry, maybe the guy's the same too.. So i can only think of one problem.

The main culprit: PRIDE.

Problems will never, ever be worked out when a couple keeps on defying each other's intrepid arrogance. Pride never solves problem and it can only make matters worse. A relationship can be kept healthy for this two things: you both TRUST and UNDERSTAND each other. It may not be the best component a relationship needs, but it's one of the most vital and important. Fighting is normal in a relationship, and sometimes, although not necessary, it's one of the main reasons that can keep couples going and produce a healthier, fruitful accord. Of course, you need to mix it with patience, faithfulness and unconditional love. That, is the most important of them all: Unconditional Love. I felt sad for her when she mentioned that they had arguments that turned into physical altercations. I think they both have no right to hit one another, most especially for the guys out ther (including me). Women are born to be loved, not to be hurt. That goes the same for women; men are to be loved, too. Equality. No special strings attached.

She's been asking me what to do, and i've given her (i think) the most appropriate advices a friend could give. I don't want to give advices and a false impression that may look like i'm "intervening" with their affairs, so i'm doing my best to be fair all the time. Although she's my friend, i'm not picking sides. I'm praying that they both learn how to forgive. It's just that, it's hard to convince one of them to relinquish their hold on their pride. She's in dissaray now, because she's not sure if she still has to hold on to a dysfunctional relationship, so i'm trying to keep her optimistic and keeping her spirits high at all times. She's just the one who's being the opposite. Despite that, i know that she's doing her best to look on the bright side of things in life. It's not easy for other people (including her), but it's something not impossible to obtain one day.

To my friend, always pray. Don't worry, i'm praying for you, too..

Well if you have other suggestion/comments, feel free to leave one.

God bless.